Men are simply stupid and jealous creatures, you have to tell them you like their sausage the best OVER AND OVER.

- Paul’s advice to his friend Kathryn

Tumblr Date

Your complex is so complex.

- Jason while trying to locate my apartment

that's cheating

I have a gift

I can predict the immediate future. “Lacey, you crazy guhl!” I PREDICTED you would say that.

2 or maybe even 3 instances of this:

1. Yesterday before I got my speeding ticket, I kept thinking ‘Damn, I really hope I don’t get a speeding ticket because I don’t have my new plates on my car’ then a few minutes later as I’m driving and realizing I’m going to be late for work, I thought “Well if my boss asks why I’m late, I’ll just tell him I got a ticket on the way to work” - then 5 minutes later I GOT A TICKET!!

2. Last night, Rhonda, Jason, and I went to get BBQ at Rudy’s for dinner. They have self-serve drinks and as I was looking at all the choices and deciding if I should embarrass 2 friends with my self-serve mixing habits, I start thinking “Maybe I should just get Sprite, but you know, Sprite is the only soft drink that you can’t tell when it’s just spitting out carbonated water and no sugary syrup.” I decide to go with Sprite anyway - and what do you know? The sprite WAS INDEED just spitting out carbonated water!!!

3. The other day, Syd, Chad, and I had an email thread going back and forth about singular possessives that end in ‘S’ and about names that end in ‘S’ (Yes, it was brought up by trying to make Mills into the possessive form). We argued about if you should put an apostrophe and then an ‘S’ or just an apostrophe. Well then yesterday I got Jason to tell me what his potential future baby names are and he said that Jonas was always one he wanted, but he feared the confusion of when his son’s name would be made into the possessive form. WHAT?!! I was just picking a fight about that the day before. This one doesn’t necessarily mean that I saw the future, but it could, right?

Quick recap of the day so far:

1. Woke up earlier than usual to get ready for work and drive into the office since the A/C isn’t working in my apt

2. Was running late, so of course was speeding a bit

3. Got pulled over and was issued a speeding ticket. While I was pulled over, cop checks and my tags were expired (even though they were sitting in the backseat, I just haven’t put them on - new license plates and stickers) AND I didn’t have my new insurance card on me and the one I did have expired YESTERDAY!!

4. Cop only gives me a speeding ticket instead of the other tickets he could have written (probably because I have bewbz, but whatev)

5. Get to work 30 minutes late and already have an extremely intense workload.

6. Spend the morning in the office trying to work on a tiny laptop while my boss schedules a meeting for me and a client that is having trouble getting one of their issues resolved by me. Not really my fault, I just can’t find the problem YET.

7. Was told yesterday that our AC would DEFINITELY WITHOUT A DOUBT be fixed by this morning. I get home and it’s not fixed. I asked roommate if they were bringing window units because it’s pretty illegal to make us live in a sauna. She says that they will try by the afternoon.

8. Sit in hot apartment and attempt to work on my ridiculous amount of cases.

9. Maintenance finally brings window units and they are loud as hell while I try and work.

10. Maintenance guy asks if we would like to have a ceiling fan in our living room. This is hilarious only to my roommate and I. If only this guy knew!

11. Super busy and have kept email and tumblr closed all day, so if you had some big announcement today, PLEASE EMAIL ME cause there is no way I can go back and check all the entries from the day.

12. Back to the yelling clients…..